So, my husband’s back at work this week after what was my fav Christmas New Year holiday period ever, and I struggled to get back into our ‘normal’ daily routine on Monday. Nostalgia well and truly set in as soon as I walked outside Monday morning to get the washing in, as I saw the pool we were loudly and happily splashing around in just the night before.
It’s quiet. It’s a little lonely and damn hard work being at home with the two boys. One who loves adventure (Ben, 5) and one who’s getting frustrated at not being able to crawl forwards (Hudson, 7 months).
But somehow, I’m working it out and getting shit done, while giving quality attention to each of my boys, even though they’re at different development stages.. all while getting all the housework done and ‘managing’ all the crap in our lives that needs managing. AND I’m making time to shower, and put some bronzer on.
The patience Ben has shown this week already while I get shit done and feed/bath/change Hudson has been incredible. He even gave me a hug yesterday and said ‘it’s ok mama, it’s been a fun day with only a few not fun moments’ when I had a bit of a cry that the day wasn’t as much fun as it could’ve been because the little one didn’t nap as long as he normally does.
Hudson has been patient too, as I leave him to wander around in the walker while I get dinner ready or read a book to Ben. He’s not back into a consistent routine yet, but I’m being kind on myself. He doesn’t need to be doing the exact same thing, at the exact same time, every day.
I have to remember that these kids are resilient. They don’t remember the shit times, only the good ones. I know I’m a good mum, one who takes care of them, but also invests in them. I’m absolutely present, every time. And I’ll go that extra little bit to make sure they are each smiling.
We sat down as a family a few weeks back, and although Hudson can’t talk yet, we each said what it is that makes us happy- as individuals and as a family. Things from ‘going on over night city stays’ to ‘going for night walks like we used to, now that Hudson’s old enough’. I whipped up a one pager and it’s now become our family goals & values. Something we’ve kinda been living by already, but it’s helped us all be on the same page now that it’s on paper- yes even the 5 year old. (He’s a smart kid). We know where we’re headed, and what’s next for us four.
Here’s what’s at the core:
“Planned, necessary stability and predictability, but with a sense of purpose and adventure. And do what makes us happy as individuals, and as a family, in order to be happy, be calm, be present.”
I trust in them.
I trust that they will help me be the best (and happiest) mama I can be, to my two boys. So that when their dad’s at work, we don’t feel the emptiness as much. That that emptiness is filled with adventure and cuddles on the couch.
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