It took me a while to find the right title for this post because I wanted to practise what I was about to preach and not use any anything offensive, but the official definition of ‘stupid’ according to trusty Google is “lacking intelligence or common sense”, so it is technically fitting, even though maybe a little harsh.
I’ve spent a lot of time in all areas of my life surrounded by people I would personally claim lack common sense. They live a sheltered life and believe every bit of crap that comes out of their mouths. They find fault in everyone else but themselves and feel a sense of entitlement without having to lift a finger. They claim that they’re better than everyone else, and know more. These people have to pretend you’re a bad person so they don’t feel guilty about the things they say or do to you. God forbid they be accountable for their bullshit.
Whenever I was around these people I would always let my frustration take over. I would engage in their stupidity. I would try to prove them wrong. Try to influence their opinions based on my actual personal experience. I would try to help them empathise with the people they were putting down and help them understand that their insults had severe impacts on people. I would never get anywhere though.
Because you can’t engage with stupid.
They don’t care. They don’t want to change who they are because they don’t know much else. All that stooping to their level would do was make me miserable. It would clutter my thoughts and cloud my judgement. I would second guess myself and what I knew to be right. It would trigger my anxiety and it would affect my being.
Over the last few years, I started to find myself and learn to love who I was. (Cliché I know, but true!) I realised that my life changing personal experiences – which you will all get to know really well if you continue to follow my blog– had shaped who I had become. I realised this more with each experience and each obstacle I had overcome. I felt more in control and more confident taking them on. I had little regret and I was proud of how I handled what life threw at me. I am a good person, and I could finally see it.
This helped me realise that acceptance leads to clarity. By accepting that there are people in your life that you cannot change, no matter how hard you try or how overcome by fear you are at even the thought of having to move forward without them, you quickly learn that all they did was create clutter in an otherwise calm environment. This is what toxic people do. If they’re toxic to your life, why hang onto them?
Getting rid of the toxicity in my life is one of the key contributors to my now new found happiness. I am free from the negativity, the small mindfulness and the ignorance. I am free from the people who live in their own self-absorbed bubble waiting on the next free handout. I am free from selfishness and jealousy. I am free from lack of accountability. I am no longer to blame for their problems.
I no longer need to engage with stupid.
If you feel trapped by people in your life who continue to pull you down, constantly use and abuse and disrespect you, let me tell you this “You are not required to set yourself on fire, to keep others warm” (source unknown).
Surround yourself with people that respect you. People that share your values. Who look at life the same way you do, without being closed minded to what else is out there. You deserve to be happy and free from people that pull you down.
Life is beautiful and by moving on and living your life your way, free from toxic people and their noise, you’ll wonder why you ever engaged with stupid.
(The three quotes I chose for this post have helped me get through some dark days. They’re my fav from one of my fav @TheWriting. If you don’t already, you should definitely follow!)
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